I spent the my 20s and the majority of my 30s super fucking broke and doing some incredible juggling to keep roofs over heads, etc. Utilities were shut off on the regular. Phone service? Yeah, that was gone here and there. Electricity would take priority that month. Don't get me started on the reconnect fees if I let … Continue reading Recovering From Poverty and Unwarranted Expectations
When this "story" took place, I was 19. I found myself, as I mention in the story, dating a 27 year old man who I thought I was in love with because 19 year olds are idiots. I was still recovering from having my back opened up from neck to tailbone to have my spine … Continue reading Youngs River – Belated Prologue
"Politics just exhaust me," she says while sipping wine out of a frosty stainless steel wine tumbler from the comfort of her deck chair. "I just can't get that worked up about it, you know?" My friend brushes a tendril of wavy blonde hair off of her cheek. "I just prefer to live my life and not think about it. … Continue reading I got mine.
It was the weekend, and my friends and I had decided to meet at a dive bar called The Farm House, a dark, sticky feeling place that always somehow smelled more of stale cigarettes than the cigarettes that were currently being smoked by the patrons holding down bar stools. I was with a group of computer nerds … Continue reading Strip Poker and Spiders
During the summer of 1994, I had three small children at home including my six month old son. I had gained approximately one metric ton during the pregnancy as my best friend, who was pregnant with her twins at the same time, and I would eat our way through the malls giving zero fucks. I … Continue reading Milky Vengeance: The Consequences of Pissing Off a Fat Lady
When I was twenty years old, I made the incredibly shortsighted decision to marry the first man who was the exact opposite of the my previous serious boyfriend. Because when you're twenty years old and you have everything all figured out, that logic makes total and complete sense. I mean the previous guy, with whom I had a child with … Continue reading Speed Racer and My Abortion
Junior high is truly a bizarre period of adolescent life, especially when it comes to all the crazy shit your body throws your way as you mature. When I was entering my teens, I was shaped somewhat like an overstuffed sausage, sporting rabbit teeth that I had not yet grown into, and the need to constantly have badly permed … Continue reading Tapiola and the Big-Tittied Girlfriend