Men Shouldn’t Have Facial Hair. Oh Wait…

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Men shouldn’t have facial hair.
Men should have facial hair.
Men shouldn’t have beards.
Men shouldn’t have goatees.
Men should have facial hair though.
But not like that.
Definitely like that.
Never that.

Something about soul patches.
Something about “but it’s ok on Johnny Depp”.
Don’t get me started on long hair.
I mean short hair.
I mean longish hair that’s almost short but still kind of long.
Except these guys.
Long hair is great.
But don’t have it.
Or braids.
I mean man braids since it’s not already self-explanatory.
Or buns.
You know what’s next.
Their hair should be cut short.
But not military short.
Gross, why is it touching their collar?
No, it’s fine on that dude.
Wait, did he just cut all his hair off?
Why would he do this?
That guy needs to cut his hair off.
That’s stupid, he’s not a teenager.
Oh my god, LOOK AT HIS HAIR, IT’S SO SEXY.
But not on him.
Definitely on him.
He wears it in a bun.
That is so damn sexy!
WHY IS HE WEARING IT IN A BUN?
Long hair in a ponytail is ok.
DON’T TUCK IT INTO THE RUBBERBAND, THAT’S A BUN AND SOMEHOW NOT OK.
Wait, mustaches are sexy.
No, that’s too much. TOO MUCH.
Why does that guy have a sparse mustache?
WHY DOES THAT GUY HAVE SUCH A THICK MUSTACHE?
He should groom his facial hair more.
WHY IS HE GROOMING HIS FACIAL HAIR SO MUCH??
THAT’S GIRLY.
No, facial hair isn’t girly.
But his is.
Wait…

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