After a major break-up, your common sense generally flies out the window and you are prone to making poor decisions on the rebound. This has been true of me about 900 times. Give or take. The rebound after my post-divorce rebound - which was nearly as catastrophic as my first marriage, though with less time … Continue reading But I Took A Viagra!
Stay angry, ladies. And stay loud. You have every goddamn reason to and every goddamn right to. And every little girl who comes along after you is depending on it.
It was the weekend, and my friends and I had decided to meet at a dive bar called The Farm House, a dark, sticky feeling place that always somehow smelled more of stale cigarettes than the cigarettes that were currently being smoked by the patrons holding down bar stools. I was with a group of computer nerds … Continue reading Strip Poker and Spiders
During the summer of 1994, I had three small children at home including my six month old son. I had gained approximately one metric ton during the pregnancy as my best friend, who was pregnant with her twins at the same time, and I would eat our way through the malls giving zero fucks. I … Continue reading Milky Vengeance: The Consequences of Pissing Off a Fat Lady
When I was twenty years old, I made the incredibly shortsighted decision to marry the first man who was the exact opposite of the my previous serious boyfriend. Because when you're twenty years old and you have everything all figured out, that logic makes total and complete sense. I mean the previous guy, with whom I had a child with … Continue reading Speed Racer and My Abortion
Junior high is truly a bizarre period of adolescent life, especially when it comes to all the crazy shit your body throws your way as you mature. When I was entering my teens, I was shaped somewhat like an overstuffed sausage, sporting rabbit teeth that I had not yet grown into, and the need to constantly have badly permed … Continue reading Tapiola and the Big-Tittied Girlfriend
Her eyes twinkled as she squinted a smile my way, her grin calling attention to both her high cheek bones and the dimple in her chin. "I'm Lindy Drouin. Lindy Darlene if I'm in trouble. And I'm always in trouble!" she laughed and slapped my arm, "though never for the shit I should be."