I started doing stand-up comedy in 2002. It happened by accident, really, and one the things I loved about it is that I was getting paid to say the same shit I'd say anyway regardless of a mic or a stage. Wait, what? You're going to give me free alcohol and enough money to pay … Continue reading Free Speech, Comedy, and Not Being a Dick
I remember the first time I was outraged by gender inequality. I mean legitimately outraged. It was 1996 and I found out that a male counterpart of mine was being paid a significant amount more than I, and I was completely shocked. How could this happen? How could this be permitted? Why was I being … Continue reading Yes, Virginia, the rules have changed…
My mother and I were standing in my kitchen today chatting about life and how crazy and wonderful it is, even with our past traumas. This is a frequent conversation that I both enjoy and dread when I see the subject heading down that path. We have both been through some shit, some of it … Continue reading Monsters and Dirty Tupperware
When I was in New Hampshire several years ago, I went home with this woman after we got off work at the bar we were both employed at. It had been a long day, and we both figured we might drink and fool around a bit now that we were outta there. We climbed the janky stairs to … Continue reading Blood, Snakes, and Arsenio Hall
The other day I woke up and started my day like I normally do. I lingered in bed about a half hour longer than I really should have, finally dragging myself out of bed and lumbering into the bathroom. I looked at myself critically in the mirror and carelessly rearranged my increasingly wild mane of hair. … Continue reading The War is Over; Pass the Bread
When people walk into the street, whether within a crosswalk or just obliviously darting out into the street midway down the block, the presumption that you always hear people voicing is that the pedestrian has the right-of-way. That's more or less true, though there are exceptions to that. When I see people walking out into … Continue reading I’m a Pedestrian. You Can’t Hit Me.
Someone on social media recently posted that, if you're feeling alone in the world, the quickest way to rectify that is to post that you were going to start a new diet. Can't remember who stated that, but I've damn sure seen evidence a thousand times over even when (especially when) you didn't ask for advice. And all you did … Continue reading Let People Eat
After a major break-up, your common sense generally flies out the window and you are prone to making poor decisions on the rebound. This has been true of me about 900 times. Give or take. The rebound after my post-divorce rebound - which was nearly as catastrophic as my first marriage, though with less time … Continue reading But I Took A Viagra!
Stay angry, ladies. And stay loud. You have every goddamn reason to and every goddamn right to. And every little girl who comes along after you is depending on it.
"Politics just exhaust me," she says while sipping wine out of a frosty stainless steel wine tumbler from the comfort of her deck chair. "I just can't get that worked up about it, you know?" My friend brushes a tendril of wavy blonde hair off of her cheek. "I just prefer to live my life and not think about it. … Continue reading I got mine.