Junior high is truly a bizarre period of adolescent life, especially when it comes to all the crazy shit your body throws your way as you mature. When I was entering my teens, I was shaped somewhat like an overstuffed sausage, sporting rabbit teeth that I had not yet grown into, and the need to constantly have badly permed … Continue reading Tapiola and the Big-Tittied Girlfriend
Her eyes twinkled as she squinted a smile my way, her grin calling attention to both her high cheek bones and the dimple in her chin. "I'm Lindy Drouin. Lindy Darlene if I'm in trouble. And I'm always in trouble!" she laughed and slapped my arm, "though never for the shit I should be."
Becoming a stand-up comic is a weird fucking life-choice. In my case, it was mostly accidental that I ended up being paid to stand on a stage say the same stupid shit to drunk bar patrons and club-goers that I’d say if I was sitting on a barstool. A friend of mine had decided he wanted to try his hand … Continue reading Comedy, Cowboys, and Liver Damage
I met a wild woman years ago, an amazing, eccentric goddess named Joan who fancied herself a "job collector". "I've had 47 jobs in my life," she declared one night over dinner, "it would KILL me to remember them all. I'd rather not. Let's not, how dull. Though there have been a few worth remembering, oh boy..." It was one … Continue reading What Do You Do For Money, Honey? PART 1:
I just met this woman. She's about my age, she's about my build. She's loud at times, brash, and clearly intelligent but not overtly trying to convince you of the fact. She doesn't need to. She's a writer. Her voice is unique to her and, at the same time, one I can relate to quite easily because it sounds a … Continue reading I Just Met Me Again, and I’m The Worst
Like a lot of women of childbearing age, my body is my mortal fucking enemy, and, quite frankly a total dick. When I was much younger, I always felt fortunate. Because, compared to some of my friends, my reproductive organs were pretty tame with little to no personality. But I had friends who, during their menstrual … Continue reading Aftercare Instructions: The Day My Uterus Exploded
Sad is the man. ...the man who realizes that he failed to work white male privilege into anything more genital-stimulating than a successful online gaming career. ...that he may have missed the whole point of having a wiener. What is the point of wiener anymore? What is life? He shakes his fist. He cries out … Continue reading Sad Is The Man