I was driving down the road yesterday, and out of nowhere, I had a visceral realization as to why women are obsessed with serial killers. It’s so simple, really: It's because the killers are men. Not monsters, not an enigma, not the stuff of make-believe. They are real men who we went to school with and had … Continue reading Loving Men Who Kill Us
I started doing stand-up comedy in 2002. It happened by accident, really, and one the things I loved about it is that I was getting paid to say the same shit I'd say anyway regardless of a mic or a stage. Wait, what? You're going to give me free alcohol and enough money to pay … Continue reading Free Speech, Comedy, and Not Being a Dick
I remember the first time I was outraged by gender inequality. I mean legitimately outraged. It was 1996 and I found out that a male counterpart of mine was being paid a significant amount more than I, and I was completely shocked. How could this happen? How could this be permitted? Why was I being … Continue reading Yes, Virginia, the rules have changed…
My mother and I were standing in my kitchen today chatting about life and how crazy and wonderful it is, even with our past traumas. This is a frequent conversation that I both enjoy and dread when I see the subject heading down that path. We have both been through some shit, some of it … Continue reading Monsters and Dirty Tupperware
When I was in New Hampshire several years ago, I went home with this woman after we got off work at the bar we were both employed at. It had been a long day, and we both figured we might drink and fool around a bit now that we were outta there. We climbed the janky stairs to … Continue reading Blood, Snakes, and Arsenio Hall
The other day I woke up and started my day like I normally do. I lingered in bed about a half hour longer than I really should have, finally dragging myself out of bed and lumbering into the bathroom. I looked at myself critically in the mirror and carelessly rearranged my increasingly wild mane of hair. … Continue reading The War is Over; Pass the Bread
When people walk into the street, whether within a crosswalk or just obliviously darting out into the street midway down the block, the presumption that you always hear people voicing is that the pedestrian has the right-of-way. That's more or less true, though there are exceptions to that. When I see people walking out into … Continue reading I’m a Pedestrian. You Can’t Hit Me.