Stay angry, ladies. And stay loud. You have every goddamn reason to and every goddamn right to. And every little girl who comes along after you is depending on it.
"Politics just exhaust me," she says while sipping wine out of a frosty stainless steel wine tumbler from the comfort of her deck chair. "I just can't get that worked up about it, you know?" My friend brushes a tendril of wavy blonde hair off of her cheek. "I just prefer to live my life and not think about it. … Continue reading I got mine.
I need to add to my "colorful commentary" from earlier today on Facebook: I will literally never relent to call you out when it comes to weak comments like "just sharing a thing I saw", I didn't mean anything, I totally love gay people" or "it's just a joke". Your jokes are dangerous. Your jokes … Continue reading About Your Anti-Trans “Jokes”…
It was the weekend, and my friends and I had decided to meet at a dive bar called The Farm House, a dark, sticky feeling place that always somehow smelled more of stale cigarettes than the cigarettes that were currently being smoked by the patrons holding down bar stools. I was with a group of computer nerds … Continue reading Strip Poker and Spiders
During the summer of 1994, I had three small children at home including my six month old son. I had gained approximately one metric ton during the pregnancy as my best friend, who was pregnant with her twins at the same time, and I would eat our way through the malls giving zero fucks. I … Continue reading Milky Vengeance: The Consequences of Pissing Off a Fat Lady
When I was twenty years old, I made the incredibly shortsighted decision to marry the first man who was the exact opposite of the my previous serious boyfriend. Because when you're twenty years old and you have everything all figured out, that logic makes total and complete sense. I mean the previous guy, with whom I had a child with … Continue reading Speed Racer and My Abortion
Junior high is truly a bizarre period of adolescent life, especially when it comes to all the crazy shit your body throws your way as you mature. When I was entering my teens, I was shaped somewhat like an overstuffed sausage, sporting rabbit teeth that I had not yet grown into, and the need to constantly have badly permed … Continue reading Tapiola and the Big-Tittied Girlfriend
Her eyes twinkled as she squinted a smile my way, her grin calling attention to both her high cheek bones and the dimple in her chin. "I'm Lindy Drouin. Lindy Darlene if I'm in trouble. And I'm always in trouble!" she laughed and slapped my arm, "though never for the shit I should be."
Becoming a stand-up comic is a weird fucking life-choice. In my case, it was mostly accidental that I ended up being paid to stand on a stage say the same stupid shit to drunk bar patrons and club-goers that I’d say if I was sitting on a barstool. A friend of mine had decided he … Continue reading Comedy, Cowboys, and Liver Damage
I just met this woman. She's about my age, she's about my build. She's loud at times, brash, and clearly intelligent but not overtly trying to convince you of the fact. She doesn't need to. She's a writer. Her voice is unique to her and, at the same time, one I can relate to quite easily because it sounds a … Continue reading I Just Met Me Again, and I’m The Worst